Dawn lies curled up on the sofa watching Ethan, who now sits on the floor among his books. She really should care that the pile of rejects is growing, but the sight of his hands, his mouth, makes her think only about what she wants this minute. Desire buzzes through her whole body, pulses in her blood. She wants him, and it pisses her off that he's denying her.
It's the same overwhelming capital-w Want that would sweep through her just before she'd stick some forbidden object in her pocket or her bag. Didn't matter whether it was a lipstick or a cheap ring, a sweater or a charm from the Magic Box. Something would spark this greed in her, the anger that whatever it was was being withheld from her.
Greed has always been her weakness, always been the thing she was scolded for. For stealing, for wanting too much of her mother's attention, for wanting anything at all from her father. Dawn wants too much and expects too much. Everyone who knows her knows that. She's all about the greed.
It makes sense to her now. It's not the pathetic story about the girl with the father who never thought about anyone but himself and the mother who died when Dawn was much too young to deal and the sister whose problems always came first because the fate of the goddamn world rests on her shoulders. There's always been some part of her that knew something vital had been stolen from her, that knew she was caged and wouldn't let her rest. Some deep knowledge had made her greedy, insatiable, and the only response she ever got was to be scolded, lectured -- she even did it to herself.
And here she is, pressing herself into another box to make everyone happy. Studying the ancient languages (though they feed something in her, that part of her that responds to ancient things), preparing for the Watcher's Academy, trying to be everything Giles and Buffy and Xander want her to be. Everything her mom would have wanted. She's tried to please everyone -- except for Hank. She's through jumping through hoops for him.
She's done what they wanted, tamped down the greed (when's the last time she stole something? Not since Sunnydale.), redirected her energies. Been the good little girl.
She makes a small noise, rubs at her forehead.
Ethan looks up. "Is the headache back?"
"Just beginning," she lies.
He gets to his feet. "I'll make some tea."
"You mean that nasty stuff? I don't want to conk out for another six hours."
"You won't. You won't need near the dosage you required when you first got here. It'll relax you a bit, at most."
"All right then." She follows him to the little kitchen alcove, slides her arms around his waist from behind as he fills the kettle. "It's time you took a break anyway."
Dawn half expects him to tell her there's serious work to be done, time is of the essence, but he turns toward her and slips her sweater over her head, dropping it onto the floor. "Oh," she breathes.
She starts to reach back to unhook her bra, but he shoves it upward, releasing her breasts. "Dawn," he murmurs, and brushes his thumbs over her nipples, coaxing a shiver from her. "How responsive you are. How perfect." He takes them in his palms as he kisses her, teasing her with his tongue and his hands. "Tell me what you want." His warm breath on her neck makes her shiver again.
Has any man ever asked her this? "You. I want you inside. Please."
Taking her by the shoulders, Ethan gazes into her eyes. "Never say that."
"Ethan? What did I --"
"I never want to hear you say 'please' again. It's not your place to beg." He works at the button of her jeans, and the feeling of his fingers against the skin of her belly makes her arch her back. He kisses her again as he glides her zipper down, so slowly she feels like she'll die. His fingers stray beneath her panties and she gasps. "Own your desire. Your greed. Take what you want."
She pulls at his shirt, fumbles at his pants, and in the next moment they're skin to skin, Ethan lifting her in surprisingly strong arms and taking her right there against the pantry door.
"Oh," she huffs as he gently sets her down on shaky legs.
Here is the first person in her life who really knows her. Who understands about greed.