Title: Innocence Lost
Author:Athenewolfe
Rating:NC-17
Paring: Spike/Xander/implied Dawn
Author’s Note: This fiction is a sequel to Whispers of the Night , and therefore it will make more sense if you read that story first. Whispers took place in a very alternative season five roughly around the autumn of 2000. Spike/Xander with implied future threesome w/Dawn. I think this will just be a one-shot as I am pretty sure I am the only one reading it, but darn it I wanted the pairing. Thank you to Lori for looking this over for me.
Summary: Xander recovers his sanity, but someone else is watching.
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Innocence Lost
Los Angeles, 2005 - Xander
No one would consider her to be innocent any more.
It was perhaps one of his biggest regrets. You wouldn’t have thought so. How could his sins against one girl outweigh all the violence he had committed?
Yet it haunted his dreams. Not the rivers of blood, the screams of his friends or their looks of betrayal. Their broken bodies never haunted him. He could blame them, their own actions responsible for his descent into insanity. If they had only believed him, if they had only protected him from the voices, it never would have happened.
But they hadn’t. They locked him away and never looked back. They never visited. They never noticed that without the pain he couldn’t block out the demented voices. Their deaths were tragic, yes. But it really was their fault.
It was times like these that he worried if he truly regained his sanity. Once Spike had slipped the cool metal bracelet on his arm he had been healed. The voices fell silent; they were his companions no more. He had been distraught. Buffy, Willow, Giles; they had been his family. They had been there for each other, they had saved the world, and now their blood was on his hands.
The whispers had demanded it so; the Watcher, the Witch and the Slayer. It had sounded like a freaking book. He couldn’t have resisted. Not then. His lover wouldn’t have stopped him. He was still a demon, albeit one who had been restrained for a time. It wasn’t Spike who killed them though. It had been Xander. The rivers of blood, the pain, it was all the results of his madness. Who would have known that a man with the element of surprise could do more damage then a legion of demons?
When the bracelet slipped on he thought he would die. The pain was overwhelming. It was only the solace of the vampire which helped him heal. It wasn’t his fault. They locked him away, they caused the insanity, and they brought forth their own destruction.
His vampire saved him, together they in turn saved the girl.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunnydale, Autumn 2000 – Dawn
Dawn hadn’t known what to think at first. She had known something was wrong after a while. She hadn’t seen her sister in close to a week, and while Buffy usually avoided being at the house after their mom’s death, she eventually showed up - or had food delivered - so that Dawn could eat.
Anya had still been working at the Magic Box, but she hadn’t seen Giles or Willow. The core team had disappeared. Neither a phone call nor a body had illuminated the situation. She would have gone to the police, but what if nothing was wrong? What if they had simply forgotten her, or were injured? She didn’t think it was likely, but the Hellmouth was a strange location. They really could have been involved in a ritual where they couldn’t contact her; of course the odds were just as likely they were all dead. She didn’t want to contact the police; even at the worst she really didn’t want to go live with her dad.
That was when her knights arrived; a broken and scarred Xander; a tormented demon. They needed her, they would protect her. They would be hers and she was theirs. She knew she was the Key. She wasn’t supposed to know, but after a week without a word from anyone except Anya she had researched. She had found hidden notes. She knew what she was. Was she even real or just a figment of their imagination? Was she something that would destroy the world or perhaps she would fade away; an object that if not used would disappear. She hadn’t known then which would be worse.
It was from Xander’s nightmares that she learned the others were dead. She had cried, of course, screamed and yelled. Her family was gone. Except they really hadn’t been her family; they hadn’t been her friends. After all, they only cared about her because the monks had orchestrated it so.
She wanted to know if she was real. At least she knew she was needed; all three of them were broken and bloody inside.
She had watched Spike try to heal Xander. The voices still tormented him if he took the bracelet off. She wondered why no one had believed him. It was obvious to her. Was that because she was more perceptive? Or perhaps it was because she wasn’t a person. Perhaps it was all much clearer. Or perhaps she was evil. Evil called to evil didn’t it? Perhaps they were all lost and insane.
So she watched, hidden as the vampire coddled his lover. Letting him rage over the acts they committed and taking comfort in his fangs. The bite, the delicious pain, she never doubted that they were real. Night after night she watched the vampire and his lover; the slice of the fangs, the caress of the hands, the naked bodies as they entwined. Every night she watched Xander become more real, more normal; his sanity returning one bite at a time.
She wondered if Spike could smell her arousal. She couldn’t stand it. Time and time again she watched the beautiful dance that their bodies created. Light and dark, man and demon; she craved what they had. Something that could never be taken away, never fade.
Her hands crept down to her panties. Rubbing herself though the fabric, feeling herself grow wetter. Wishing she knew what to do to alleviate the ache that consumed her every time she viewed them. She wondered if watching them was wrong; if it was further proof that there was something fundamentally bad about her. Was there something different about her? Was there something dirty, something unclean? She was fantasizing about killers, those responsible for deaths of her fake sister and friends.
Did it really matter? How long had she really known that family? Did they even really love her? Was she a tool for them? A Key to hide away from one who wished to use her? With Spike and Xander at least she knew the feelings were real. They had to care for her. They were here. They had to love her. With a twist and a pinch of her clit she came. Her first orgasm, her first release; hidden away in a closet while she watched her boys fuck.
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Fini
Hiding In Closets
Xander - Los Angeles, 2005
He thought about her now. How she had taken to looking almost gothic punk. She radiated a mixture of faux innocence and wickedness. If he hadn’t been with her throughout her transformation, he never would have recognized her. Her once expressive eyes were lined in black, her lips ruby red. Even her hair had been darkened.
Perhaps one of the most profound changes to affect him was the leather. She wore two wrist bands and a collar. Nothing fancy or ornate, simple black leather, supple with three small discrete spots where you could hook a chain or leash to. A normal person might have thought it cute. A young woman experimenting with a gothic look, but nothing too serious; nothing too dark for this beautiful young creature.
But he knew better. He regretted the loss of her innocence but was enthralled at the creature he’d helped Spike create. She was everything a vampire and his lover could want; soft, subservient, wicked and wanton. She would walk into the room, and he lusted after her. He desired nothing more than for her to drop to her knees and take him into her mouth; driving him wild with desire.
They were both creations of Spike. Their actions driven to be what the vampire wanted of them. Molded to fit his desires, their own needs a reflection of their lover’s wants. Perhaps they hadn’t saved each other. Perhaps the vampire had saved them both.
It didn’t matter though, not when Dawn walked in and knelt before him. He could pretend that all his sins were forgiven, taking his comfort and solace between her lips. He could fuck her mouth into oblivion, and then lose himself in between her thighs. Finding bliss night after night, consoling himself with her body, redeeming himself in her light.
Yet she wasn’t the light anymore. Not really. She was still the Key, still Dawn, still their love, their slave, their master. Her darkness rivaled their own, her knowing eyes smoky as she watched them, joined them, and ruled them. She was a compliment of their trio. She had told him once that they fit because they were all just broken pieces, fragments of each other, their former lives lost, unable to be recovered. They were the only ones who could understand, who could make each other whole.
And as she turned to him, smirking, he once again grew hard.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dawn - Sunnydale, Autumn 2000
She watched them from the closet. Night after night. She never saw any indication that Spike noticed she was there. She was surprised, but when her boys were together, the world seemed to fade away. They concentrated on each other; fists and cocks, whips and chains, the blood and the bite, the pleasure with the pain. It made her hot, wet with desire and need. It drove her out of her mind with the wanting, with the craving.
She saw them when they were gentle. But that never did the trick, never brought her the sweet release that she sought. It was nice, but what she loved, what she craved, was watching Xander bleed. Watching as he became real under her very eyes. It made him shine. He moaned louder, came harder, and begged Spike for more. Sometimes she closed her eyes, fantasized that it was her underneath the whip, wishing that it was her blood on Spike’s lips. But other times she just watched. She touched herself, twisted her clit, rubbing anything and everything to bring the release. Needing the pain, needing the pleasure, desperately wishing she could be a part of what they shared. She craved them. The pleasure and the pain she knew they could bring. If she could just reach out and take it, experience it, be taken and bitten, tasted. She was consumed with her desire.
She fantasized about it, dreamt about them discovering her. Them finding her in the closet. His carpenter hands, rough and calloused, grabbing her to drag her out into the open. Her vampire’s eyes golden, angry at her for her naughty watching. She could picture them punishing her. Her bare bottom stinging from blows as they spanked her. She would be red with embarrassment and the flush of stinging pain. They wouldn’t stop though, not until she couldn’t sit properly, not until she was faintly bruised. Would they get hard? Hot and bothered by the site of her young body, marked under their very hands? Would they notice her then?
She moaned. Lost in her fantasies, she thrust up inside of herself with two fingers. Over and over again she touched, fantasizing her naughty dreams. Her body was accustomed to her now, responding to her fantasies, faster and faster, wondering what it would take for them to notice her. What would it be like to truly be touched, be theirs? With a muffled scream she came. Would they notice her now?
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Spike - Sunnydale, Winter 2000
He knew she was watching. He knew that it was only a matter of time before she came to him, begging to be his new pet, begging for him to take her, to train her, to fuck her.
He knew what she wanted. He always knew. His perfect Xander, his lovely Dawn, they would be his pets, his lovers and finally his consorts for all eternity. They might not know it yet, might not realize it yet, but they would be.
He let her watch. He was training her without her realizing it, showing her what he wanted, what he expected, what it meant to have a demon lover. She was perfect. Hiding in the closet, touching herself, bringing herself off. It scented the air: innocence and desire.
He whispered in Xander ear: telling him that she was watching, that she was playing with herself, running her hands over her body. He could hear her moan, hear her muffled screams, knowing that she was so close and that she needed them to get her off. Before Xander could truly think about it, he struck, sinking his fangs into the boy’s neck while thrusting deep into him, pounding over and over again, making the boy moan with the double penetration. As he withdrew his fangs, he could smell the boy’s arousal grow even stronger. He could feel Xander tremble, desperately trying not to come
He sped up even more, whispering about how he was going to take them both and the naughty things that they would do. How her long legs would wrap around them. How he could position them so that they could he could fuck Xander while Xander took her. How both of them could position her. How his whip would run red with the blood of them both.
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Closet
With a strangled moan Xander came, and from the closet Dawn heard him moan her name.
~Finis